Baby??!!

I have some days when I am SO EXCITED for my baby to be here! Then, others (most days) when I am absolutely TERRIFIED! 

What kind of day is today? Well, I got a lot done today.  I turned in a paper for school, logged my last 4 days worth of patients (anybody that has to log patients, knows what a big accomplishment that is).  And, put up all the clean dishes that were sitting on our counters from the day I had an angry pregnant moment and had to wash all the dishes by myself.  You see, Michael and I were both tired and grumpy from school and I thought he told me I was going to be a bad mom (don't worry ladies, put your pitchforks away, he said nothing like that, it was just my hormones hearing what they wanted to hear).  So, I had to prove that I was going to be a good mom by washing all the dishes (it made since in my head).  Anyway, today I put those dishes up.  I cooked 2 batches of cookies to take to work and got ready for work.  And, wrote a blog entry (now 2).  So, for a while today I was feeling like I am going to be a Great mom!

...Then reality hit.  I remembered that I did all this without having to change any diapers, feed a baby, burp a baby, rock a crying baby, carry a baby around all day, wash cute little baby clothes, pick a pacifier off the floor a billion times and wash it, provide tummy-time for the baby (after sweeping all the dirty dog hair off the floor so it doesn't get in baby's mouth), keep 2 crazy dogs from jumping on baby, yelling at the UPS man for banging on the front door and waking up baby, and anything else that moms have to do that only a mom could really understand (I'm kinda halfway there, do I get any mom points yet?). 

So, then I had a little mini-break down thinking I am going to be a horrible mother.  Everybody thinks that before having a baby, right?! Just say right to make me feel better.

Yes, I worry constantly about being a good mom.  And on top of that, I worry about all those other pregnancy things. Is my baby going to be healthy? One day I forgot to take my prenatal vitamin, did that hurt baby? What if I accidently drank more than my alotted 200mg of caffeine the other day?  Did it hurt baby when I ate my gluten-free Domino's Pizza that was covered in tiny gluten crumbs?!  Will I never be able to sing my baby to sleep because baby will be scared of my horrible voice?  All the normal things... And Then.

Will my baby have Celiac?  Really, there are worse things for a child to have.  If diagnosed at childhood, then they never really know what they are missing.  However, can you imagine how hard it would be to feed a kid with Celiac Disease?  No raviolis, spaghettios, bagel bites, chicken nuggets, or luncheons?  And what about sending a kid to school?  What kind of gluten-free food can easily be packed into a lunch?  They will have to have special attention where they go to heat up their food.  And what about going to other kids houses?  Do I send an allergy list for the parent, or just send special food just for my kid?  Can I trust another parent to not give my kid any food with gluten?  Can I trust a kid to not sneak any temping gluten-food?!  How are they not going to get a piece of cake at other's birthday parties?  I would be the crazy parent at Back Yard Burger that wants to watch the piece of meat being put on the plate to make sure it didn't touch any bread (I used to work there, and I remember those crazy parents).  I know we will cross that road when/if we come to it.  I am just so scared of all the possibilities.